Where Are They Now? The Seven Dwarfs

Disney's first ever feature length cartoon, Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs premiered in 1937. If you're anything like me, I'm sure you're wondering how their young lives turned out. Assuming they were all around the ages of 23-26, that makes them about 98 years of age (only 45 in human years).

Unfortunately, three of the dwarves didn't make it. I'm here to tell their story.



Don't do it Sneezy!



3) Sneezy -

The story of sneezy is quite sad. A couple of years after Snow White was resurrected by a kiss, Sneezy decided he also wanted to find love. Unfortunately, only male dwarfs exist so he was out of luck. Depressed and in a rage of emotion, Sneezy did the one thing that he knew would ruin him.

He found the pepper. Sneezy sneezed until he could sneeze no more.

2) Grumpy -

Grumpy grew tired of everyday activities. One can only whistle while they work for so long. Looking for new challenges abroad, Grumpy read over an advertisement for a casting call for the newest Lord of the Rings movie.

Peter Jackson found his acting skills a bit subpar but decided to keep him on as Gimli's stunt double. Grumpy was well... grumpy over this decision and decided to take matters into his own hands and kill the actor who won the Gimli role.
Little did he know the real Gimli was practicing axe moves when Grumpy barged in. It was not a pretty sight.

1) Dopey -

Dopey, although pleased with his new fame, lacked one thing that all the other dwarves had. A magnificent beard. Or any beard at all. He had tried gluing bird feathers to his chin and applying Rogaine but still, no luck.

More like Do'h!pey

It was at this moment that Dopey felt he had nowhere else to turn but to seek the guidance of the forbidden magical mushroom. Dopey ate many a mushroom and all at once it became so clear. The only way to grow a beard was to spread honey on his face.

He headed to the nearest bee hive to obtain honey and was stung several times by bees. Empowered from tripping on shrooms, he perservered, got his needed honey, and headed to an open field where he fell into a deep, magical mushroom-induced sleep.

Winnie the Pooh smelled the honey from miles away and licked it from his face. Dopey awoke and to his horror a Pooh was licking his face. Blinded by Pooh saliva, Dopey ran right off a cliff.