Because you can't "taste the rainbow" through your computer screen, I've decided to provide a great list of color-based songs. Colors are used pretty frequently in song titles so finding a great song with the major colors wasn't very difficult. Orange on the other hand...
In ROYGBIV order:
"99 Red Balloons", Goldfinger -
Sorry to all of you Nena fans out there, I like Goldfinger's cover better than the original.
"Color Orange orange song", The Frog Street Press -
If you actually watched that one, I feel bad. Sorry, but it will be stuck in your head all day. What's really scary is that The Frog Street Press made a video like, "Color Orange orange song" for each color. But you're in luck, for I am a merciful blogger (and I think we all know how to spell our colors by now).
"Yellow Sun", The Raconteurs -
One of Jack White's many bands. I think he could join a mariachi band and sell out arenas instantly.
"Greenshirt", Elvis Costello -
I'm definitely naming my future son Elvis. But only if he becomes a famous front man.
"Mr Blue Sky", ELO -
ELO's fans have been petitioning to get them into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. If ABBA is in the Hall of Fame, I certainly think ELO should be.
Sorry to disappoint you, but Indigo and Violet don't have any great songs of their own. Unless you want to listen to Hole or Coldplay, go for it.
Now for another song for my largest reader demographic, kindergartners:
Before I begin, I would like to thank James Neumann for this new look. So sleek. So classy.
I first became aware of coning in mid-July when I, an innocent Chick-Fil-A employee, was coned. I thought it was hilarious despite being the victim.
To start off, here is a classic coning attack:
Here's why coning doesn't bother me:
1) You've already paid for the ice cream, what you do with it is up to you.
2) It doesn't harm the employee in any way.
3) It's funny.
Unfortunately, not everyone shares my opinion:
Someone takes being manager of a McDonalds a little too seriously...
On the other hand, there is a less popular drive-through prank which was featured on tosh.o which is pretty annoying (but still a little funny).
I present to you "Fire In The Hole"
Just make sure you cover your license plate kids because this offense can get you arrested.
It might just be me, but I would rather be arrested for a more important cause... like jaywalking.
There is a reason movies like 8 Mile or Save the Last Dance are successful. They both feature a main character doing something they are not supposed to be good at.
Anything having to do with rhythm or flow is often foreign in a white person's culture. The following performers show that there are a select few that can make you forget their skin color.
From most expected to have rhythm to the least I have compiled an entertaining list of those who make people like me jealous for being able to execute a dance move other than the robot.
Or those who can rap/sing over a funky beat and not sound like a stiff, uncomfortable businessman.
Number one on the countdown goes to the Black Keys' project band Blakroc:
1) Blakroc's "Ain't Nothing Like You (Hoochie Coo)"
For these two white guys to produce a bumping rap beat is impressive to say the least. Now if they rapped the verses too, I would've been blown away. I think they can be forgiven though considering the quality of music the Black Keys produce.
2) Some crazy drummer:
He's got some serious moves considering he's the drummer for a middle aged cover band. Thanks to him I was able to ignore those golden jackets and focus completely on his drum playing which is like nothing I have ever seen.
3) Jamie Lidell's "Little Bit Of Feel Good":
Now if you had to guess where this guy is from what would you say.......?
England? I didn't think so. When I first heard this song I had no idea what he looked like and just figured he was the next Prince. I guess you could call him Prince's prince.
4) Beastie Boys' "So What'cha Want"
OK so three guys from New York get together to form a rap group. No big deal. How about three white guys with their roots in hard rock? Ya, the Beastie Boys are the coolest band ever. And are still going strong. I don't think it would be a stretch for me to say that no other trio of white people will have anywhere near the success the Boys have had.
5) Matisyahu beat boxing off his "Live at Stubb's" album:
I'll let Wikipedia do the talking for the source of Matisyahu's unexpected talent: "Matthew Paul Miller (born June 30, 1979), better known by his Hebrew name and stage nameMatisyahu (Hebrew:מתתיהו) is an AmericanHasidic Jewishreggae musician." That's quite the combination.
Now we just need an Amish person to make it big and my list will be complete.
Ah, to be a famous athlete. In peak physical condition, making millions of dollars, and becoming so famous people on the other side of the world wear jerseys with your name on it.
But like any celebrity, having seemingly everthing is never enough. Thanks to this sentiment, many athletes have tried their luck in the music industry with mixed results.
Did any of them make the wrong career choice? I'll let you be the judge.
1) Baseball player Bronson Arroyo covers "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls:
Hmm I guess they should've worked on those chords a little more in practice. No one wants to go to a concert and hear a song restart.
2) Boxer Manny Pacquiao featuring some comedian covering John Lennon's "Imagine":
Unlike the Arroyo video, I actually sat through the whole thing. If you want to see a better Pacquiao performance, check his rendition of, "Sometimes When We Touch." Or just watch him knock people out.
3) An original song by Shaq. This one is brilliantly titled, "Shoot Pass Slam."
He really went out of his element with this one. A basketball player rapping about basketball? Unheard of.
4) Los Angeles Laker's Forward Ron Artest's, "Champions."
No one can doubt that Mr. Artest has passion. Anyone who saw his antics which had him suspended for the rest of the 2004 season, can attest to that. This video has over 1 million views and is featured on the most recent installment of the NBA 2k series.
But in case you forgot what made him a household name, prepare to be amazed:
He knew what he was doing. Every rapper needs to get some street cred from somewhere. Ron achieved his by going into a bull-like rage and attacking anyone who looked at him the wrong way.
If you grew up in the 90's and had access to a computer, you probably played some version of the Backyard sports series. Personally, I started with Backyard Baseball 2001.
Humongous Entertainment, the game's developer was very aware of social stereotypes. Understandably, this may have gone over your head.
Allow me to educate you on the fine arts of being politically incorrect.
1) Pablo Sanchez
The first pick for my team no matter which version of Backyard sports games, Pablo Sanchez was exceptional in every game. He could pitch, catch, and hit a home run everytime. After every home run, his latin-styled music would play as he rounded the bases.
Because of his hispanic name, the developers decided to make sure he could speak no english. They did include a cheat however. If you hold the shift key while viewing his profile, he speaks in english.
Oh, and he's the shortest player in the game.
2) Pete Wheeler
Simple Pete. Basically Forest Gump in a video game.
He's really fast, really dumb, and not much else.
The game's developers must have thought, "We have some great characters, but we need a redneck!"
3) Kenny Kawaguchi
Let me start this one out by saying I feel bad for Kenny. At least his name is an alliteration. Moving away from the race card, Kenny's stereotype is of a different flavor.
Kenny is the only handicapped player in the game. Instead of making him really good, maybe giving some hope to some handicapped children who play the game, Humongous decided to make his attributes realistic. His speed is lacking, has virtually no power, and is a lackluster fielder.
At this point, they must have felt (slightly) bad for him because they made him a good pitcher.
Those are only the most obvious. Humongous did a great job including every race. Kids need to be educated as early as possible about what they should expect when encountering every type of person.
