Backyard Baseball's Stereotypes

If you grew up in the 90's and had access to a computer, you probably played some version of the Backyard sports series. Personally, I started with Backyard Baseball 2001.

Humongous Entertainment, the game's developer was very aware of social stereotypes. Understandably, this may have gone over your head.

Allow me to educate you on the fine arts of being politically incorrect.

1) Pablo Sanchez  

The first pick for my team no matter which version of Backyard sports games, Pablo Sanchez was exceptional in every game. He could pitch, catch, and hit a home run everytime. After every home run, his latin-styled music would play as he rounded the bases.

Because of his hispanic name, the developers decided to make sure he could speak no english. They did include a cheat however. If you hold the shift key while viewing his profile, he speaks in english.

Oh, and he's the shortest player in the game.

   2) Pete Wheeler

   Simple Pete. Basically Forest Gump in a video game.

   He's really fast, really dumb, and not much else.

   The game's developers must have thought, "We have some great characters, but we need a redneck!"

3) Kenny Kawaguchi

Let me start this one out by saying I feel bad for Kenny. At least his name is an alliteration. Moving away from the race card, Kenny's stereotype is of a different flavor.

Kenny is the only handicapped player in the game. Instead of making him really good, maybe giving some hope to some handicapped children who play the game, Humongous decided to make his attributes realistic. His speed is lacking, has virtually no power, and is a lackluster fielder.

At this point, they must have felt (slightly) bad for him because they made him a good pitcher.

Those are only the most obvious.  Humongous did a great job including every race. Kids need to be educated as early as possible about what they should expect when encountering every type of person.

5 Sports Redefined

For your pleasure, I have scoured the internet and put together a top 5 unlike any other. The following men have two things in common.

One, they have incomparable skill at their respective sports. I'm talking things that would drive the average person crazy because even if you practiced everyday, you would have half their talent.

And two, they actually look like they are having fun doing it. Contrary to popular belief, you can still have fun while playing a sport even if you don't win.

Don't be fooled, although all of these athletes make it look easy, even a caveman couldn't do it.

5) Wiffleball Pitcher, unknown name

No mercy for the fat guy. Sad, but hilarious. Not that I or anyone else could hit those lightning-speed crazy-moving pitches. Since he has no given name in the video description there is only one solution. He's a freak wiffleball playing alien.

4) Football, Johnny Mac

I like the one where he throws the football really far and hits exactly where he meant to.

That guy holding the program at the beginning had to of hurt his hand.

3) Soccer, Jeremy Lynch

Balancing a round object (soccer ball) on another round object (human head) is never easy. Or even fun to attempt. Go ahead, get a soccer ball and stabalize it on your head for more than 3 seconds.

2) Tennis, Mansour Bahrami

Try to watch that video without smiling. Actually don't waste your time. I would pay more money to watch him play a comedic match than I would to watch the final at Wimbledon. Like $25 max though, because I'm broke.

1) Basketball, The Harlem Globetrotters

The original sports comedy act. Dating as far back as 1927, the Globetrotters attract talented ball handlers who can make any crowd laugh and completely forget the overall score of a game.

There are many great clips of the Globetrotters so please feel free to watch more in addition to the following:

I'm still waiting for them to call me. Apparently they're not in the market for a 5'9" white kid.

The Greatest Sports Announcer Of All Time

Mr. John Madden

I've compiled some of the greatest clips from the voice of a generation.

4) John Madden, the linguist:

And don't even get him started on bootleg DVDs.

3) John Madden, the artist:

And it wouldn't be his last penis drawing. Go ahead, search 'John Madden Penis' on youtube. On second thought, that could be risky.

2) John Madden, the spokesman:

Boom! He also mentored the great Billy Mays.

1) John Madden, the philosopher:

Although I don't agree with the title of the above video, whoever posted that has a great ear. And I would like to thank them for preserving the greatest compilation of all time.

When Frank Caliendo does a spot on impression of someone it cements him in the history books forever. It just so happens John Madden is one of these people.

He also does impressions of George W, Robin Williams, and even William Shatner. Any time you can be grouped with those three, you know you've done something right.